Every Day by David Levithan :)

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BEWARE OF SPOILERS!! IF YOU DON'T WANT TO BE SPOILED, STOP READING.

No Offense Meant.

Okay. I've been meaning to say something about this. It's been a long time actually. I don't wanna tell it publicly because some of my friends are involved in these kind of things but I figured that it's gonna be liberating once I get this out. And I'm not actually gonna reveal who or what they do, anyway.

Loved.

The past weeks have been...difficult. I think due to my past blogs, it's pretty obvious. I've been so messed up, I still am. I've been crying every moment and it hurts. But one thing I realized, I was never alone. I have my friends, family, and God who's been nothing but genuinely amazing and concerned for me. They became the source of my strength a midst all the chaotic stuff that's been happening in my life right now.

An Amazing Friend. :)

Truth be told, I never really had a friend who would go paranoid just because I'm not talking to her. Hahaha. So Bianca De Ramos, this is for you. (Please be warned that this is a melodramatic blog).

Post-Grandiosa photo. Sort of after our "fight" =))

Tears.

I'm fragile. Every moment is a battle against my own tears. It's like the whole universe is against me. I hate what I'm feeling right now. I hate that everything's not where they should be. I hate that feeling that I'm being pushed away from what I want to be. I hate that my school is keeping me from getting what I want. I hate that they don't think about the future of their students. I hate that they only think about the name and reputation of the school but not the students in it. I hate that some of my friends don't see that I'm not okay and they still have to confide in me, I mean it's fine but please understand that I can't be a friend when I have a problem to think about. I hate that my family don't get what I'm feeling. I hate that nobody does.

Motivation. Motivation. Motivation.

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Okay. I can't think of any good introduction to this one because as transparent as I am, the title says it all for me. I guess, transparency is never lost in me. Haha.

Anyway, I know this sounds weird but while I was swimming alone in Marquinton, I had a very random thought about my problem. Well, you can't actually call it random since it's the only thing I've thought about all day. It's actually related to what I blogged about last night (see previous blog) as if there's actually someone reading this. It's actually something that motivated me to do better. It's my own motivation. Since according to our Psychology book, "motivation" is the drive and power to achieve your goal.

Yesterday's Failures, Today's Regrets

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I know it sucks that this is my first official blog entry but I hate how my life is turning out right now. I have so many problems and I hate that I keep thinking about them. It's like everyday is a reminder of my failures and shortcomings. I know that mistakes are life's lessons but do we really have to live through it with so much pain? I mean, I get that I'm learning but the damages that it will leave will forever be a reminder that I failed. I'm known to be an optimistic person but all the optimism is being drained out of my system because of all the shortcomings and challenges being thrown at me. It's actually nearing to the point that I'm giving up.

Frustrated Writer

Okay. Hi, Blogger world. I know I don't have that much readers or if I have any so I'll get on with the introduction. Hahaha. Okay, I'm Mikaela Buntan. I've been blogging since high school, I'm a college student. I made a blog account here just because Tumblr's getting a bit too crowded with photo quotes, I use to blog there. =))